A few tips from the Master of Suspense to guide you through your champagne toast into 2012:
Tip #1: When popping the cork, aim away from your guests (or the camera).
Tip #2: Try not to spill it all when opening.
Tip #3: Make sure you have enough on hand and chilled to last the entire evening. Don’t be like Alex Sebastian.
Tip #4: If you’re hosting, try not to drink too much before your guests arrive. You’ll end up morose, sitting at your piano, and not a very good host. Sorry, Philip.
Tip #5: If it’s just the two of you, really try to gauge her mood before you hand her a heavy wine bucket or any other object that can be hurled in your direction.
Tip #6: Don’t fill the glasses for your toast too much before midnight. It’ll just go flat.
Tip #7: You know it’s time to cut off your guest(s) when they begin slurring their speech. Sparling burg-le-dy. Indeed!
Tip #8: Don’t be such an oaf that you just sit there drinking while your wife dances with another man. Get on that dance floor!
Tip #9: No, on the rocks isn’t okay. Even if you do sound like James Mason. Make sure it’s chilled, dammit.
Tip #10: Don’t let your guests overstay their welcome. And if you’re the guest, leave before overstaying yours. Make a toast. Have another drink or two, then go. That means you, too, Uncle Charlie!
Happy New Year!
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